If ukulele players suffer from UAS, do you think guitarists suffer from GAS? As in, I hasten to add, Guitar Acquisition Syndrome. Well, this guitarist certainly doesn’t! I know what you’re thinking but the truth is: I own only one classical guitar. I’ve had it since 2007 and while I often borrow a guitar from a friend, it’s made by the same maker. Since 2007 I’ve never looked at another brand of classical guitar. Every time I play this guitar I smile. I love the sound. I love the feel. It makes we want to be a better guitarist. No GAS here.

So, what it is with ukulele players and UAS? For the uninitiated that’s Ukulele Acquisition Syndrome. One of my first experiences as a ukulele player was to be told I would soon suffer from UAS. Of, course, I hotly denied it. Of course, it soon crept up me. I have it. You have it. Don’t deny it. Of course you do! If you really don’t have UAS, because you’ve only been playing a day and a half, you soon will. Resistance is futile. 

As the image on the right demonstrates the search for THE ONE ukulele dates back to at least the Stone Age. This is believed to be the earliest example of a ukulele. Evidence suggests it once belonged to Fred Flintstone.

We see. We hear. We want. We buy. A few months down the track we see or hear another ukulele. Ooo! We want. We buy. And so on. The inevitable cycle of UAS. See. Hear. Want. Buy. See. Hear. Want. Buy. I’m sure most ukulele players buy more instruments than sets of strings. How many ukuleles do I own? Err…not sure…more than…um…cough…but….not enough…. Just one more?

Recently I’ve been thinking about UAS. Why do we get it? What does it mean? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Is there an antidote? Should I be worried? Well, my bank balance certainly should. I can’t help but think UAS is because ukuleles are simply adorable little instruments (like puppies or kittens). They are also irresistibly affordable and easy to carry around. Plus, we all like to hang out at ukulele events and show off our latest acquisition. Oooo! That’s a …. Ooooo! Lovely!

I think we are also on a quest to find THE ONE ukulele. As the poet Cavafy said:

“As you set out on the way to Ithaca, hope that road is a long one, filled with adventures, filled with ukuleles…”

Well, he didn’t quite say that but you get my drift. 

If only I had THE ONE ukulele, like THE ONE guitar, then my soul wouldn’t be so restless. I’d be cured of UAS. Why does that make me feel so sad and wistful? Sigh. I wonder if Odysseus really was happy to find his way home to Penelope? Hm. 

But, she quickly rallies, the idea of THE ONE ukulele doesn’t quite work because I need a variety of sizes including sopranos, tenors and baritones. I have a vintage style soprano which is perfect for Ernest Ka’ai pieces. I have a long neck soprano which is ideal for playing campanella. I have a tenor strung with high G. I have another strung with low G. I have two baritones. One in DGBE tuning and the other I use with different open tunings, such as open E minor. So, my harem of ukuleles all have their own special ways and wiles. I love them all even if they aren’t quite my dream ukulele. Mi amore. Numero uno.

Here I am a dozen years into playing the ukulele, with a PhD, numerous publications and a loyal following on Patreon and I’m still searching for my prefect ukulele. There’s no denying I’ve had (and have) some beauties. I’m surrounded. They are under my desk, on my desk, behind my desk, beside my desk, under the stairs, at the top of the stairs, and one sitting right here beside me as I tap away. Well, you never know when you might fancy a quick strum. I was going to say pluck but I suspect you’ll take that the wrong way. I should also add that 4 of my ukuleles are out on loan. Why not share the love?

I thought I’d found THE ONE last year. A sweet sounding, beautifully balanced tenor. Easy to play. Gorgeous. But… Unfortunately, in concerts it didn’t project as well as I’d hoped, or expected. It was sweet and lovely but, well, a little bit too sweet. It doesn’t have the dynamic range I’m looking for. I want something that will sing and hold a note like a true operatic diva. I want that note to hit the back wall and bounce right back in my face. Whoosh! But alas! It was not meant to be. It’s a lot to ask of one small ukulele.

This sounds like the end of the story but, actually, it’s just the beginning… More next week.